Joke Thread

[Lady Rinoa]

k, so here you can post a joke and make comments about it if you like or laugh xD

So here it goes:

POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER!

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is sitting up against the headboard smoking a cigarette,
with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and
says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

If anyone needs it explained - read it a second time.

(I thought this was funny as hell! :P)

Anyways, go!

[Larsa]

Originally Posted by Lady Rinoa

k, so here you can post a joke and make comments about it if you like or laugh xD

So here it goes:

POSSIBLY THE VERY BEST CHICKEN JOKE EVER!

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.
The chicken is sitting up against the headboard smoking a cigarette,
with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and
says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

If anyone needs it explained - read it a second time.

(I thought this was funny as hell! :P)

Anyways, go!

You mean the question of which came first?

Ok mine is from a movie and if anyone can guess which movie it's from gets a +rep.

Not there's a papa tomato, a mama tomato, and a baby tomato walking down the street. The baby tomato slows down and he papa tomato gets mad and goes over to the baby tomato and squshes him. Not while the papa tomato does that he says: Catch up.

[Lady Rinoa]

Yes, but not quite in the sense you think

Oh & to answer the question, that joke was from Pulp Fiction

[Larsa]

+ rep for you

"So Janet, what do you think of him?
Well, I don't really like men with "too" many muscles.
I didn't make them for YOU!"

[Iceman]

What's the difference between broccoli and a booger?
Kids don't eat broccoli

Why don't chickens wear underwear?
Cause their peckers are on their heads.

Judge: What good have you done for society?
Defendant: Well, I kept a few policemen working regularly.

Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
He heard the referee was blowing fouls.

[Lady Rinoa]

Lol, I forgot about this thread =O

Come on ppl, you can come up with some jokes, I wanna laugh xD

[Larsa]

Well people here never seem too be too funny and any type of joke that you'll get from me will be taken from something else.

[Lady Rinoa]

O.o

What type of jokes exactly?

[DuMbAsS]

same here

but here goes anyway

So a bear and a rabbit are out in the woods taking a crud
the bear goes, "You don't have a problem with crap sticking on your fur right?"
and the rabbit replies no.
So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass.

[Lady Rinoa]

About time!

Awesome, that one made me laugh, thanks hun.

More plz! xD

[DuMbAsS]

more huh? ok.

so there is this boy who says he doesn't know his name. his teacher wanting to give him a proper congratulations (please don't start debating about how he could go to school without a name on his homework papers) and decided to give him the night off of homework to found out his name.

He goes to his mom first who is having an argument over the phone and he asks what's his name. His mom goes shut up. He writes it down and then goes to his sister and asks her as she is listening to music on her cd player and she says lalalalalalala. He writes that down goes to his brother of whom is younger and asks. His brother is watching batman as he asks and the younger brother goes na na na batman! na na na batman! He then goes to his dad while his dad is cooking burger buns and asks him. His dad goes my buns are ready!

The next day he goes to school and the teacher asks him to tell her(or him) his name. He goes "shut up." The teacher goes,"young man do you want to go the principal's office?" he then replies lalalalala thinking that the first "name" was wrong. He ends up in the principal's office. The prinicipal goes, "Who do you think you are?" Again the boy thinking that the last name was wrong goes, "Na na na Batman! Na na na Batman!" The principals face turn red and says," Do you want to get spanked/paddled/ or whatever has to do with hitting the glutes as a punishment. And the boy says "My buns are ready!"

I think i took about 10-15mins trying to remember this one. Oh and the spank/paddle/you know part was because this joke was pretty hard to remember. I vaguely remember who told it to me.

[Larsa]

Well I thought of one with a bit of pig from perles before swine. This is titaly made by me.

So pigs in his kitchen and rat comes in and asks him "What're you doing?" And pig says "Doing an experiment by taking a red rose and seeing if it'll change colors by putting red food coloring in the water that the rose is in. But I think I did something wrong because it's been a week now and it still hasn't changed colors." Rat shakes his head in dispair.

[The Dude]

I saw that comic strip too.

John Kerry walks into a bar. Bartender says "Why the long face?"

George Bush walks into a bar and says "ow!"

Now for an actual joke.

racism alert!

there now I can't be sued. In any case here's the joke.

A man goes to a Chinese eye doctor for an examination. After the eye exam, the doctor tells him "sir, you have a cataract." The man replies. "No I drive a Lincoln."

[Larsa]

That was good but I said that that wasn't made by stephen Pastis. You just lied because I made up that joke while I was doing the dishes and looking at a rose that my sisters boyfriend got her.

[DuMbAsS]

that made me laugh as i read it.

racism alert
ok i didn't know we could possibly use racist jokes.

so what do you call white guys pushing a car up a hill
white power
what do you call black guys pusing a car up a hill
black power
what do you call mexicans pushing a car up a hill
grand theft auto

don't think i'm racist cause of this.

[Larsa]

lol good

this is a dumb blonde joke but just know that I'm also a blonde so I'm making fin of myself as well.

So a brunet is walking up a hill knowing that at the top your able to make a wish to get you down. She walks up there and asks to be an eagle and she flys away. Than a black head walks up the same hill and asks to be a sparow and she flys off as well. Then a red head also climbs up the very same hill and asks to be a pigion and she flys off as well. Then a blonde walks up the hill and trips on a rock and says "Crap."

[DuMbAsS]

you know there wouldn't be a such thing as dumb blonde jokes if the first person to come up with it had said dumb (insert typical hair color here) cause jokes are usually "inspired" by the first jokes or so.

[Jenova]

Originally Posted by DumbAss1993

more huh? ok.

so there is this boy who says he doesn't know his name. his teacher wanting to give him a proper congratulations (please don't start debating about how he could go to school without a name on his homework papers) and decided to give him the night off of homework to found out his name.

He goes to his mom first who is having an argument over the phone and he asks what's his name. His mom goes shut up. He writes it down and then goes to his sister and asks her as she is listening to music on her cd player and she says lalalalalalala. He writes that down goes to his brother of whom is younger and asks. His brother is watching batman as he asks and the younger brother goes na na na batman! na na na batman! He then goes to his dad while his dad is cooking burger buns and asks him. His dad goes my buns are ready!

The next day he goes to school and the teacher asks him to tell her(or him) his name. He goes "shut up." The teacher goes,"young man do you want to go the principal's office?" he then replies lalalalala thinking that the first "name" was wrong. He ends up in the principal's office. The prinicipal goes, "Who do you think you are?" Again the boy thinking that the last name was wrong goes, "Na na na Batman! Na na na Batman!" The principals face turn red and says," Do you want to get spanked/paddled/ or whatever has to do with hitting the glutes as a punishment. And the boy says "My buns are ready!"

I think i took about 10-15mins trying to remember this one. Oh and the spank/paddle/you know part was because this joke was pretty hard to remember. I vaguely remember who told it to me.

I lol'd.

Unfortunately I'm lacking in the humor department so i don't have much to contribute.

[Lady Rinoa]

LOL! Thanks guys, I needed to laugh tonite xD, good stuff Dumbass *reps*

So anymore you all would like to share? I'll look for some as well, I don't remember any atm though.

[Shadow]

*Racism/Old joke alert*

What's the difference between a pizza and a black man?

...

[spoiler]A pizza can feed a family of four.[/spoiler]