The random funny convos thread

[AuroraVirtuaFighter]

Post any funny conversations you've had with your friends irl here. I just went through a worthy one and I was gonna make this later but I'd lose the quotes if I did xD

"(Me, Cissnei, and Elena had just found out about Oerba Yun Fang, the new FF13er, and I kept speculating that she may be related to Vanille. I go down to get lunch and come up with a creative way to let the FF13ers know I found out about Fang.)

Me: *to Cissnei* Go downstairs, jump in front of Vanille, and yell FANG! DO IT!
Cissnei: ..Why don't YOU do it? *pushes at me*
Me: *pushes at her* NO, YOU DO IT! *DO IT!!* OR I'LL THROW YOU OUT THE AIRLOCK if we ever find an airlock.
*we go downstairs*
Cissnei: *jumps in front of Vanille* Fang!
Vanille: o_o!.......OH, YOU FOUND OUT ABOUT FANG
*everyone starts laughing*"

"(This happened in ILA class today. We had a sub, and most of the class was acting up when we were supposed to be reading, which annoyed me to death.)
Sub: What grade is this?
Me: Most of them act like they're in kindergarten.
Practically The Whole Class: ...OOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH!
Me: OOOOOOOH!!!
Serah: *starts cracking up*
My friend, J: *stands up* WHAT WAS THAT??! *looking all macho*
Me: *staring at him, also all macho, and cracking up at the same time*
J: *throwing stuff in my direction but making sure it's not AT me, Serah's right there and all, then comes over to my desk, gets in my face, and points at his (dry) eyes* YOU SEE THESE TEARS!??!?! *makes a flashy hand motion in my face*
Me: *makes the same motion in his face*
*J goes back to his seat, but he left his pen by my desk, which a kid, Z, picked up*
Me: J COME GET YOUR PEN. *takes the pen and puts it on her desk*
J: *coming back for his pen* NO. PUT IT DOWN.
Me: ...*puts it on my desk*
J: NO, RIGHT THERE. *points at the floor, he still has his Macho Man look*
Sub: *to J* Noo, this is getting ridic...
Me: *drops it on the floor*
J: *picks it up and goes back to his seat admist everyone in the whole room cracking up hysterically*"

[Chaotic Lionheart]

Me: Dude I bored as hell what should I do
Wolf: Go get a job you broke ass dumby
Me: Stfu you bowling ball headed loser -pouty face-
Wolf:Who you callin loser you dread locked fatass
Me:I'm calling it to you ****ing ass monkey
Wolf:Hey you want me to come over so I can kick your ass in gears of war
Me:-sighs- alright I'll get the nachos...

[AuroraVirtuaFighter]

This happened while me and Serah were out riding our scooters:

"Me: I have No Booty Calls stuck in my head GET IT OUT!
Serah: NO BOOTY CALLS....DECK!
Me: SHUT UP GET IT OUT GET IT OUT
Serah: NO BOOTY CALLS....DECK!
Me: YOU'RE a deck!
Serah: And you're a PATIO!!!
Me: SHUT UP!!! xDDDDDDD"