Favorite quotes: TV version

The Dude · 03-16-2007, 03:20 AM

Pretty much the same as the movie quote thread, post your favorite quotes from your favorite television shows.

My personal favorite from Futurama from the greatest space captain ever, Captain ZappBrannigan!

"The quickest way to a woman's heart is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in!"

My Final Heaven · 03-16-2007, 04:09 AM

Hmm, among my favorites is also from futurama.

Race announcer: And it's a quantum finish! The winner is...

Professor: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

And pretty much whenever zoidberg talks it's hilarious.

Fry: Are you kidding? I can't swallow a pill that big!

Professor: That's good, it's a suppository.

Batman · 03-16-2007, 04:30 AM

Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love; hard and fast!

My Final Heaven · 03-16-2007, 05:55 AM

'I suppose I could do with only five doomsday devices and still be feared...'

Scrutator · 03-16-2007, 07:52 AM

Continuing the Futurama theme.

Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan.

Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan?

Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths.

Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him?
_________

Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident.

Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven!

[wins again]

Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL!

Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane!

[unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it]

Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me!

Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler!

[Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler]

Clyde Smith: No!

[turns to a woman sitting next to him]

Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me!

[the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly]

Clyde Smith: A-a-ah!

Bender: Saw it coming.
___________

Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir.

Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds...

[Kif stares at him]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes...

[Kif rolls his eyes]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours...

[Kif stares at him]

Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif.
____________

Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle.

Fry: And then the battle is not so bad?

Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

The Dude · 03-18-2007, 06:42 PM

Looking back, Zapp Brannigan had some of the best quotes to come from television and to continue the tradition, some more of his amazing phrases.

Zapp: I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan at your service.
__________________________________________________ _____
President Nixon's head: And here he is. Back from his successful mission of carpet bombing Eden 7, captain Zapp Brannigan!
__________________________________________________ _____

Zapp: What's the matter with you Kiff? Teenagers smoke and most of them seem to be on the ball.

Scrutator · 03-18-2007, 06:58 PM

Brannigan: Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast
____________________

Fry: You cant give up hope just cus its hopeless, you gotta hope even more, and cover your ears and go BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...ID ALSO LIKE A PACK MULE!
____________________

FatBot : I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg streaked across campus and crammed 15 humans into a phonebooth.

Bender : Yeah well most of them were children
____________________

Amazon: You will see our leader.

Fry: Is she hot?

Amazon: That not important she all knowing.

Fry: In other words no.

Blitzballer · 04-29-2007, 11:41 PM

I think ill do some ones from The Simpsons...xD

Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
-----------------

Titania: You said if I slept with you, I wouldn't have to touch the drunk!
Duffman: Duff Man says a lot of things! Oooh yeah!!!
---------------------

Duffman: Hey Duff lovers! Does anyone in this bar loooove Duff?
Carl: Hey, it's Duffman!
Lenny: Newsweek said you died of liver failure.
Duffman: Duffman can never die, only the actors who play him. Ooh yeah!
-----------------------

Duffman: Duffman thrusting in the direction of the problem!
------------------------

Duffman (After seeing a picture of Moe): That's a mug you don't want to chug!
--------------------------

Gotta love Duffman..xD

Ryder · 04-30-2007, 01:30 PM

Family guy just owns.

Lois - I might be pregnant

Peter - Oh God, are you sure its yours?

lmao.

03-16-2007, 03:20 AM	#1 (permalink)
The Dude I <3 Jak Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Scranton. Where the Office is filmed Age: 22 Posts: 2,418 Rep Power: 8	Favorite quotes: TV version Pretty much the same as the movie quote thread, post your favorite quotes from your favorite television shows. My personal favorite from Futurama from the greatest space captain ever, Captain ZappBrannigan! "The quickest way to a woman's heart is through her parents. Have sex with them and you're in!" __________________ FFOF Got a question or want to tell us why we suck? Click Here!

03-16-2007, 04:09 AM	#2 (permalink)
My Final Heaven Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Home sweet Home Age: 25 Posts: 763 Rep Power: 5	Hmm, among my favorites is also from futurama. Race announcer: And it's a quantum finish! The winner is... Professor: No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it! And pretty much whenever zoidberg talks it's hilarious. Fry: Are you kidding? I can't swallow a pill that big! Professor: That's good, it's a suppository. __________________ "The word rustic doesn’t even begin to satisfy the requirements of an adjective used to describe this town. Rustic is a looming butressed cathedral to this town’s Stone Henge. Rustic is the ocean to this town’s mud puddle. Simply put, rustic is a word inadequate to describe the squalour." Get more like this just by clicking on this link.

03-16-2007, 05:55 AM	#4 (permalink)
My Final Heaven Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Home sweet Home Age: 25 Posts: 763 Rep Power: 5	'I suppose I could do with only five doomsday devices and still be feared...' __________________ "The word rustic doesn’t even begin to satisfy the requirements of an adjective used to describe this town. Rustic is a looming butressed cathedral to this town’s Stone Henge. Rustic is the ocean to this town’s mud puddle. Simply put, rustic is a word inadequate to describe the squalour." Get more like this just by clicking on this link.

03-18-2007, 06:42 PM	#6 (permalink)
The Dude I <3 Jak Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Scranton. Where the Office is filmed Age: 22 Posts: 2,418 Rep Power: 8	Looking back, Zapp Brannigan had some of the best quotes to come from television and to continue the tradition, some more of his amazing phrases. Zapp: I am the man with no name. Zapp Brannigan at your service. __________________________________________________ _____ President Nixon's head: And here he is. Back from his successful mission of carpet bombing Eden 7, captain Zapp Brannigan! __________________________________________________ _____ Zapp: What's the matter with you Kiff? Teenagers smoke and most of them seem to be on the ball. __________________ FFOF Got a question or want to tell us why we suck? Click Here!

04-30-2007, 01:30 PM	#9 (permalink)
Ryder FFEW Chairman Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: London Age: 20 Posts: 601 Rep Power: 5	Family guy just owns. Lois - I might be pregnant Peter - Oh God, are you sure its yours? lmao. __________________

03-16-2007, 04:30 AM	#3 (permalink)
Batman Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: In your pants Age: 20 Posts: 404 Rep Power: 4	Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love; hard and fast!

03-16-2007, 07:52 AM	#5 (permalink)
Scrutator Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Scotland Age: 23 Posts: 288 Rep Power: 4	Continuing the Futurama theme. Leela: Oh, God, not Zapp Brannigan. Dr. Zoidberg: You know Zapp Brannigan? Leela: Let's just say we've crossed paths. Bender: Was that before or after you slept with him? _________ Narrator: You are entering the realm which is unusual. Maybe it's magic or contains some kind of monster. The second one. Prepare to enter... The Scary Door. Please send a man 'round back and pick up Clyde Smith, a professional gambler who's about to have an unfortunate accident. Clyde Smith: [Smith is run over by a car, then awakes in a casino. He plays the slot machine and wins] Ha-ha-ha! A casino where I'm winning? That car must've killed me. I must be in heaven! [wins again] Clyde Smith: A casino where I always win. That's boring. I must really be... in HELL! Sebastian Cabot: No, Mr. Smith. You are not in heaven or hell. You are on an airplane! [unrolls the curtains, revealing the airplane windows. A creature sits on the wing of the plane, ripping wires out of it] Clyde Smith: There's a gremlin destroying the plane. You gotta believe me! Sebastian Cabot: Why should I believe you? You're Hitler! [Pulls out a mirror. Clyde's reflection indeed looks like Hitler] Clyde Smith: No! [turns to a woman sitting next to him] Clyde Smith: Eva Braun! Help me! [the woman pulls off a mask, revealing the head of a fly] Clyde Smith: A-a-ah! Bender: Saw it coming. ___________ Kif Kroker: That new recruit is phenomenal, sir. Captain Zapp Brannigan: Yes. He edged out my old mark by two seconds... [Kif stares at him] Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 16 minutes... [Kif rolls his eyes] Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... and 12 hours... [Kif stares at him] Captain Zapp Brannigan: ... I do plan to finish someday, Kif. ____________ Soldier: This is the worst part. The calm before the battle. Fry: And then the battle is not so bad? Soldier: Oh, right. I forgot about the battle.

03-18-2007, 06:58 PM	#7 (permalink)
Scrutator Senior Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Scotland Age: 23 Posts: 288 Rep Power: 4	Brannigan: Brannigan's law is like Brannigan's love, hard and fast ____________________ Fry: You cant give up hope just cus its hopeless, you gotta hope even more, and cover your ears and go BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...ID ALSO LIKE A PACK MULE! ____________________ FatBot : I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg streaked across campus and crammed 15 humans into a phonebooth. Bender : Yeah well most of them were children ____________________ Amazon: You will see our leader. Fry: Is she hot? Amazon: That not important she all knowing. Fry: In other words no.

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