Movie Quotes

[thekingoftheempire]

from THE CROW:

[In Fun Boy's flat]
Eric Draven: Take your best shot, Fun Boy. You got me dead-bang.
Fun Boy: You are seriously ****ed up. Did you look in your mirror? You need professional help.
[In Fun Boy's flat]
Fun Boy (after being amazed by Eric's healing hand): Jesus Christ!
Eric (sarcastically): Jesus Christ...stop me if you've heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
[first gunshot]
Eric (quite unemotionally): Ow. (strutting) He walks into a hotel and hands the innkeeper three nails and asks...
[gunshot 2]
Fun Boy (desperate): Don't you ever ****in' die?
Eric: "Can you put me up for the night?"
[After he gets shot in the leg]
Fun Boy: Oh God! Look what you've done to my sheets!

[The Dude]

From The Departed.

"It doesn't matter if you're a cop or a robber, cause when you find yourself staring down a loaded gun; what's the difference?"

[itcouldbesweet]

Chun Li: My father saved his village at the cost of his own life. You had him shot as you ran away. A hero at a thousand paces!
Bison: I'm sorry... I don't remember any of it.
Chun Li: You don't remember?
Bison: For you, the day Bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me... it was Tuesday.

[Blitzballer]

A quote from As Good as it Gets...xD:

"How do you write women so well?"
"I think of a man, and then I take away reason and accountability."

[Scrutator]

It's not a movie but I've just rewatched the first season of Deadwood and it's what's stuck in my head atm.

E.B. Farnum: Separate rooms, I'll arrange that by tomorrow, but today I can't fix it, unless you kill a guest.
____________

Al Swearengen: God rest the souls of that poor family... and pussy's half price for the next 15 minutes.
____________

Al Swearengen: You want a blow job while I talk to you?

Judge: No.

Al Swearengen: I wasn't offering personally.
____________

E.B. Farnum: Hickok's half-women friend's off somewheres on a tear. The orphan square head's in the widow's care. The widow feels put upon. She's asked me to find her some help. I suggested the gimp.
____________

Al Swearengen: Wave a penny under the Jew's nose; if they got living breath in them, brings them right around.
____________

Reverend H.W. Smith: When I read the Scriptures, I do not feel Christ's love as I used to.

Calamity Jane: Aw, is that so? That is too bad! Join the ****in' club of most of us!

[Tycoon]

"Now I'm not say we wouldn't get our hair mussed, but I am saying no more than 10 to 20 million killed. Tops!"

-Gen. Turgidson
Dr. Strangelove

[The Dude]

surprised no one's quoted this one yet.

Paraphrased from Spaceballs (because I haven't seen it in a while.):

Dark Helmet: Who made that man a gunner?
Maj. *******: I did, sir. He's my cousin.
Dark Helmet: Who is he?
Col. Sandurz: He's an *******, sir.
Dark Helmet: I know that. What's his name?
Col. Sandurz: That is his name, sir. *******, Major *******.
Dark Helmet: And his cousin?
Col. Sandurz: He's an ******* too, sir. Gunner's Mate, First Class, Philip *******.
Dark Helmet: How many *******s we got on this ship, any how?
[Entire bridge crew stands up and raises a hand]
Everyone: Yo!
Dark Helmet: I knew it. I'm surrounded by *******s. [Dark Helmet pulls his face shield down] Keep firing, *******s!


and of course:

Col. Sandurz: Prepare ship for light speed!
Dark Helmet: No, no, no, light speed is too slow!
Col. Sandurz: Light speed, too slow?!
Dark Helmet: Yes, we're gonna have to go right to . . . ludicrous speed!
Col. Sandurz: Ludicrous speed?! Sir, we've never gone that fast before. I don't know if the ship can take it.
Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?
Col. Sandurz: Prepare ship for ludicrous speed! Fasten all seatbelts, seal all entrances and exits, close all shops in the mall, cancel the three ring circus, secure all animals in the zoo!


Edit by The Man: Fixxxed fgj

[Seph Stampede]

Originally Posted by The Man

Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

That always seemed a bit tacky to me. I get it, his name's 'V'.

[Beeble]

From Ace Ventura:

Ace: "I have a package for you, sir."
Man: "Sounds broken."
Ace: "Most likely; I bet it was something nice, though!"

[The Man]

From The Good, the Bad and the Ugly:

One Armed Man: I've been looking for you for 8 months. Whenever I should have had a gun in my right hand, I thought of you. Now I find you in exactly the position that suits me. I had lots of time to learn to shoot with my left. [spoiler]
[Tuco kills him with a hidden gun]
Tuco: When you have to shoot, shoot, don't talk. [/spoiler]

[xox-IamVivi-xox]

From Monty Python: some of my favorites!!

Sir Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Sir Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Sir Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Sir Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on.
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Sir Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Sir Lancelot: Am not

+ my most FAVORITE

Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Go on. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that.
[he is thrown over the edge into the volcano]
Sir Robin: Auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Stop. What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel...
[he is also thrown over the edge]
Galahad: auuuuuuuugh.
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop. What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that.
[he is thrown over]
Bridgekeeper: Auuuuuuuugh.
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know

[XxVivixX]

From Conan the Barbarian:

"You killed my MOther! You killed my Father!! You took his sword!!!"

damn arnold was built in that role.

[Blitzballer]

Goodfellas:

Probably one of its best scenes:

Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: what do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little ****ed up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to ****in' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the **** am I funny, what the **** is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the **** out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya mother****er! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

[Lady Rinoa]

Originally Posted by Sunshine

"My name is Maximus Decismus Meridius; father to a husband son, husband to a murdered wife and I will get my vengeance!"

Russell Crowe as "Maximus" in Gladiator.

I had to Quote that again, fgj. Best 'effin film ever xD

~I was just watching Lara Croft and I love this part, lol

Mr.Powell: “I think I’ve never seen anything quite so beautiful and know so little about. This is a pleasurable torment…my ignorance amuses me”

...My ignorance amuses me? My ignorance amuses me?

Lara: "I always found your ignorance quite amusing actually'

[Master F-U]

Movie: Kung Pow
Type: Comedy

Master Pain(Betty): Go get some snacks, perhaps a carbonated soda.
Ling: I hope they have iceysss!
The Chosen One: I've chosen the large tub
Wimplo: My nipples look like milk duds.
Master(forgot his name): I've got some yellow liquid for your popcorn and its non-dairy.

Its this part where the chosen one gets stuck in a tiny net, and they go to "the intermissions.lulz

[Lady Rinoa]

From the movie Closer

“Lying is the most fun a girl could ever have without having to take her clothes off”

~Natalie Portman

Excellent film, epic quote xD

[Tom]

The most famous three words today-

"This is, SPARTA!"
-Leonidas
300

[Samic]

Talladaga Nights:

Ricky Bobby: Hey. I'm Ricky Bobby. When you're workin' on your mysterious lady parts and stuff, you should have the right tools too. That's why you should use... MayPax. The oficial tampon of NASCAR.

[Blitzballer]

Dirty Harry

Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?

[Harry Callahan has to explain why he shot a man]
Harry Callahan: Well, when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.
The Mayor: Intent? How did you establish that?
Harry Callahan: When a man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross!

[Larsa]

Hero:
First Emporer- What were the words he wrote?
Nameless- All under heaven.
Emporer-All under heaven...
Nameless- Broken sword said "The people have suffered years of warfare, only the king if Qin can stop the chaos by uniting All Under Heaven. He asked me to abandon the assassination for the greater good of all people. He said, one person's suffering is nothing compared to the suffering af many the rivalry of Zhao and Qin is trivial compared to the greater cause.
Emporer- The person who really understands me is my most feared enemy. Alone I have endured so much criticism so many attempts on my life no one understands my intentions. Even my court officials see me as a tyrant.


All under Heaven was really used and made by the forst emprer of china and it seems to be the thing that really brought China to what it is now.