Thankies Mr. Cuttie Pie, glad you liked <3

And Vivi...*gasps* oh my dearest, that was quite taking. I could sense that lustful and yet loving emotion on it very well intermingled with your literature, I have to say that yes I loved it. I am so happy you are starting to write again and from what I see, you have improved. So please don’t stop, if you have a muse, use it well. Is fun to experiment with different ways of writings and I am for one the type that just enjoys to let the words flow in which ever way it takes, no rules but also hoping that whoever else that appreciates such art to enjoy it as well. Thanks again for sharing <3<3<3

From one writer to another, I give my thanks. Funny because I have two reasons why I didn't repond earlier. One, my dumb self didn't realize that there was a page two yet :P , and two, the spring weather has actuallly been so good here in Michigan that I stayed outside in the times I would usually be here on FFE. Anyways, I'm glad that you noticed all the right things about my poem, the lust, emotion, and my style coming from what I learned over the years all mixed in together. And don't worry, I won't stop writing even when that dream becomes a reality.
Yea I agree, it is fun to try different styles of writing. For a couple of months now, I have been learning Spanish and have actually tried to take the words I know so far and input them into poetry. And no, like you said, I don't care much now about what others think as some might thing that me writing Spanish poetry is pretty dumb. Anyways...I'm very glad that you enjoyed my writings and there will be more coming, thanks for the comments.

LR, i loved that piece very much so when i read it. the extent of your skill of writting can be shown in your differnt styles and thats what makes them so interesting.....so varied, with all kinds of was to make you feel. when all i feel is gravity, i can read your writtings and i find emotions of a time that was and will be again that bring warmness to my heart and soul and help me march on^^ thankyou my love<3
and beacuse of your voluptuous writtings of heart, i give you mine, that when i leave your side its smashs into a thousand pieces that cant be put back together again by anyone but you. i write this as a dedication to that. te amo...
for you with love...

The Mistress of Wordplay

Shalt I gazeth unto words sublime, crafted verses and pieces of a spiritual soul.
Thou art an artist in thine own right, a mistress of language,
Manipulating words like clay and shape shifting sentences into a creation of divine light upon thee, the elements that make life what it is.

A Lady Of Lascivious sonnets, sorrowful odes to past warriors who have fallen in battle, joyful praises to thy world that thou love undyingly. Prays to thy god written beneath his heaven but heaven be where it belong, for angels shall sing these praises so beautiful and elegant in tone, as a symphony to the stars.
Perhaps I shall drink from the pool of thy passion, dive into fields of innocence and tantalizing tales of woe and wish’s upon the nights sky.
Lay it as a blanket of shinning jewels upon the bed of the queen, the mistress of wordplay.

Prithee then M’ Lady hark to a verse from me, I pray thee that you will see, your art reflects the true essence of thyself and your face I may see upon such manuscript as this.
The fine silk of the page on which you write let symbolize your amorous grace and presence…like wind swiftly passes through a crag in a mighty mountain you glide along with every step you take, moving as poetically as the words you shape so well.

The swirling letters of your hand therefore do seem fitting to picture such exquisite hair that sways as the water flows steadily along its path through the rivers of Avalon.
The scent of thee is laid unto your work, filling my senses with visions and manifestations of dreams of thee once dreamt.
Thy temple in which lies the great sonnet of yours, doth symbolize your divine body that of an angel on earth.
Sweet cinnamon luxury that the air be privileged to meet. Thou walk, speech and presence do complement the universal knowledge of natural beauty.

What is thy secret? Do thou slumber for a thousand years to maintain your fairness? A sleeping beauty slumbering silently before me, immersed in sweet silky covers as my hands tremble near thee.
I do not touch and do not wake for restlessness doth disturb a celestial light with drops of rain telling the aged story of thy secret garden.
Do you not bath in milk…or use the venom of a hundred venomous flowers of most prolific kind? What is thy secret then!

It is your Art mistress. You can seduce even in slumber before me.
Your craft and expertise, your dexterity and your savvy.
Your astuteness and capability that you pour thy persistent passion for the art of thine.
The mistress of wordplay.

~Luke~

Ah yes, one of my absolute faves…thank you my love, for I appreciate the visuals, the art of your emotions crafted into words describing everything. Also the old English style touch makes it even more romantic. Well done *smiles warmly*

*coughs* well, is been a while since I've posted anything...I do have some to share with you and given the wonderful opportunity of the night, I am glad to start sharing more and hope you all embrace/indulge my writings. So here you go, something different yet...not so in a sense. Enjoy xD


The end of Sentimentality…?

What is this acclaimed power in which has been embedded within me?
I proclaim it since I no longer sense an unbridled essence
Bewildered by such discovery, it frightens me

Chaos at the palm of my hands as I smile wickedly
Which role have I assimilated this time?
Accepting morals…yet, why are they slowly diminishing?

The deadliest combination of history is lingering
When a soul infused with emotions is guided with intellectual ability
Boundaries have become a broken state of reality

Twilight roads appear instantly
Making the journey easier to follow and control
However, is this really such a horrible revealed epiphany?

Mirrored silhouettes dancing in the wind
Mocking the recent events
Perhaps this is all just an illusion in the end?

Created so that I can finally comprehend the accurate version?
I think not.
Is all nothing but a challenge for us to learn consequences

And savor the dramatic experiences
Hence why addiction becomes handy
Allowing freedom to do whatever you wish

So once again I ask…why does this scare me?

~Janet~

I liked this poem, and that has become a remark that is less common than it used to be from me...ever since I was forced by the school system to accurately analyze poetry. Regardless, this poem I enjoyed for many reasons. The theme of the poem is excellent, it talks about something inside the poet where so much is about the world outside. I enjoy the fact that I am once again graced with poetry in stanza, something that has eluded many of my former classmates. Did I detect a rhyme scheme as well? Overall, bravo m'lady.

my love, this one although you feel is not the best of your work is still so impressive as a whole piece and realy does shine as a form of art & emotion. it covers the struggle & fight between the coas of the heart andmind, someting i indeed love to share thoughts about ith you and so to read this beautifull piece gives me the same joys. thankyou once again for bestowin such ifts here from your essence and mind....it is truel a loving light, even through darker pieces as these.....te amo<3

Thank you again for your comments and feedback <3

Well, I’ve been meaning to post and since we were just talking about it, Darky, I hope you enjoy this new prose I just wrote recently; is different and I hope everyone enjoys it as well. ^_^


Sorry I’m late…it took me forever to get here. "I know what you mean”, was your expression as your soul resonated through your eyes. Tears no longer held a conceptual substance but just a flow of soft waterfalls in a quiet mountain side. That is where we floated. A beautiful paradise. A secluded haven. Our sanctuary. A place with no dismantled illusions of any kind, no infatuations or fabrications elaborated for us. Just you and I. And so a silent glance to express my sentimentality appears as an epiphany.

Sorry I made you wait. You know of all my aphrodisiacs ways to entertain my life in order forget your angelic face. Why, you ask? Please forgive this neurotic mind, for it has gained impure wisdom in order to get by. However, your innocent love devoured me completely and I was granted the perfect gift. True unconditional love. An emotion forgotten though the ages of time, almost obsolete and yet entwined. Clinging conviction it which disengages reality just to prove how lucky I really am. Such gift frightens me. I long for your kiss and yet fear for this moment to subside as I stand before you with trembling eyes.

I love you...and I realize now that is not a lie. Poignant as it may me, but I am in dire need to release this suffocating chaos that contaminates me. I am no longer bound to the mentality of the almighty Aphrodite syndrome in which always eluded my thoughts selfishly. I plead with the same eyes presented as if stranded in the desert with uncontrolled thirst and about to die.

“I know my love”, it’s the hopeful expected reaction I get as we finally consummate that awaited kiss sealing heaven within our reach.

~Janet~

Originally Posted by Lady Rinoa Tears no longer held a conceptual substance but just a flow of soft waterfalls in a quiet mounting side.

That is such an awesome line Janet, its such a good use of adjectives.

I wouldn't say it didn't get me thinking about how I feel about someone and such but it was a really nice poem to read Janet, very nice work. You know I love you all your works, your poems always draw me in.

Honestly, to review this piece from a normal readers view i would have to say that this impulse to find connections to this piece manifests itself withint me more than ever towards this glorious prose you wrote my dear. I see it as some of your most powerfull work as it has bite and an edge that cant be missed once consumed by its message. no metaphor as such but descriptive words to pass the emotions as so felt by the writter, and strong they are as i read into, it proclaims itsself.
from a personal perspective i fell in love with this prose as soon as i layed eyes on it and it ever more impresses me as time goes by and its meaning gets stronger, its time gets nearer<3
this one is one of your strongest even with a change of medium from traditional poetry format you keep it full of art and your talent realy shines through in this.
turely feeling your passion for writting through this is an understatment.
your message burns the ears of all that bid to read it, and is proclimation is what ties this one up as a whole^_^ as always an inner struggle is fought from the opening and resovled by the ending which i always love about your writtings mi amor.
i always wonder your secrets, and how you are able to pour so much gracefullness into your words...
i cant review or become a critic on this unfortunaly...due to the fact that i fell for this one from the start and i would be to biast to try point out anything to work on....theres nothing. its perfection that make it such a beautiful piece of art and as always my dear diosa, thankyou for sharring your thoughts and inner feelings through your writtings with me and others.....i know that your art urged many analasysis in my mind to come to a conclusion on life, i think by others reading your experiences through this form it will help also....thats why i truely believe that to publish your writtings would bring much joy and light to what darkness resides in this world as darky even said that they draw him in, i know many feel the same by you....your love for life is powerfull.<3
te amo.thankyou.

So…erm, it seems that I haven’t posted new writings in a while and I thought tonite was a good thing to do.

Of course, a certain “someone” kinda pushed me into it and I won’t deny that it was perfect timing to do so because I honestly was contemplating about which poem to post next. I must say that this one in particular it is very dear to me, fave indeed...I hope you all enjoy and thank you again for reading my work, I greatly appreciate it ^_^


Worth waiting for

A substantial amount of white snow falls
I find myself in the midst of it once again
Cold as it can always be
Beautiful as sorrow can claim to be when it bleeds
I dance freely like a butterfly would on a summer day
Smiling happily enjoying the panoramic scene

~You were worth waiting for...~

My soul gleams with loving thoughts of you
Warm whispers flowing through
Giving a sense of heat in the middle of winter
When it was once ice ruling within her
Snow White Queen…that’s how I am remembered,
Forbidden desires yet I fail to hinder
Seeping though at an obvious and hasty rate
You are the one able to navigate

~Perhaps it was nature or just fate~

Several slick silhouettes join my rhythmic melody
Dancing side to side drawn by the beauty of it
Mystic aura surrounding the premises
Enchanting music plays as I astray momentarily
And like a nightingale murmuring across the distance
Your non-enigmatic voice carries prominently
Engraving reality without being an illusionist
Halts the atmosphere to the limit and exclaims drastically

~ Stop this chaotic madness! ~

Silence befalls as a certain benevolent sensation reaches
Tranquility at last, spreading the vast land
Gazing at the luminous idle moon
I lay docile as the unicorn is to its horizon
Fluffy ashen feathers fall unexpectedly
My lungs no longer breathe a melancholic lyric
For it has inhaled a mere dominating dosage
Not poisonous or neurotic visages of anything
But just a single drop of virtuous significance

~Claiming to be a muse is an understatement~

Because…I love you beyond any fancy verses

~Janet~

Alright, I said I'd post here, so here goes. I'm going to try to be fairly brief though, it's not yet 6am for me. I may add to this later, I'll see how I go.

"~Missing Our Love~"
Well, first off, on the whole - I like it. The third stanza is definitely the strongest, and these three lines

"Although I dare not grieve
For thy love is as boundless as the seas
And so I shall wait desperately"

have an almost soft assonance-like rhyme, which is a nice touch.
The second stanza, interestingly, I felt was the weakest. The "becoming somewhat ethereal..." didn't really seem to work well there, I feel, and it weakened the stanza on the whole.

I don't know if I've said this before, but I'm not the biggest fan of "thee"s and "thy"s in poems, but they seem to work just fine here, so that isn't a complaint, just a note :P

The poem is good, but not great.


"Perfect Recipe"
Well, usually I'd be against an extended metaphor like this one, because they are used to the point of cliche, but you managed to use it effectively. The first three lines
"Our secret kiss
Your fascination for me
My hungry lips "
are good, particularly the "hungry lips".

"Just like taste buds savoring something
Unbelievably delicious "
later in the poem was also good, and your continued use of words that are often used in relation to food ("craving", "indulge") were good, and definitely helped both the flow of the poem and subtly improved the metaphor on the whole. There is quite a bit of what I see as deliberate rhyming in the last stanza, and I like that you don't seem to follow any particular rhyming pattern and just do it as you see fit. It's effective.

Good stuff.



Alright, now for your untitled short story.
I'm just going to sum up my thoughts very quickly on this one.

It's ok, but it didn't exactly blow me out of the water. There are a few places where tense seems to subtly change, I don't think that would be deliberate so I guess look out for that in the future.

The actual story was fine, and I liked the "realizing that it was getting late; she decided to ponder at a later date. " rhyme at the end of the first stanza/paragraph (whichever is more appropriate here). I may be being a little harsh with the criticisms I've offered on this one, but I've got to be mean sometimes :P


"Enthralling Love"

Ah, now I've already told you this one was my favourite, but I guess I'll semi-repeat what I've already said about it, but in a much-abridged version. Essentially, I like what the poem is about, and how you've written it. Again, I like the few rare rhymes you put in.

"Sweet nectar kisses,
drugging my starving lips,
pouring your love and now I’m addicted,
I’ve fallen into your abyss,"

That's probably my favourite part of the poem, especially the "I've fallen into your abyss" line. It's good as both an image and a concept, well done there.


"Beyond Simple Words"

Well, I guess I didn't read this as closely as I should have the first time I did. It's very good! I really can't see anything to criticize. You selected and used words well (haha, you were right that that would appeal to me) and again, I love the whole concept.

"So now you just fall…completely letting go…just falling in the light waiting to be caught in those comforting arms you have always yearned for… " as an ending line was great. I dug the change from a wildly beating heart to a comfortable steady rhythm. I really can't think of much else to say about this one other than that it is good!


"The end of Sentimentality...?"

Well, I'm fairly indifferent towards this one. I don't really like or dislike it, and I can't put my finger on exactly why.

"Chaos at the palm of my hands as I smile wickedly " was a good line, but on thw whole I'm not a fan of this one. It's a shame I can't work out exactly what I don't like, or I'd be able to offer more constructive criticism. If I do work it out later, I'll edit it in. At the moment, the only thing I can think of is the entire structure and ordering just doesn't quite seem right... to me anyway.


"Sorry I’m late…it took me forever to get here. "
Ah, I like this one. The idea of tears being a sanctuary is a novel one, and I really liked that. The whole first stanza is spot on.

"However, your innocent love devoured me completely and I was granted the perfect gift. True unconditional love. An emotion forgotten though the ages of time, almost obsolete and yet entwined." Wow, that definitely appeals. Well done with that part. Nothing much else to say about this one either. It's good, and that's all there is to say about it really.


"Worth Waiting For"

This one, I've already commented on, but I will repeat my thoughts.

It's good. Really.

"~You were worth waiting for...~

My soul gleams with loving thoughts of you
Warm whispers flowing through
Giving a sense of heat in the middle of winter
When it was once ice ruling within her
Snow White Queen…that’s how I am remembered,
Forbidden desires yet I fail to hinder
Seeping though at an obvious and hasty rate
You are the one able to navigate"

I particularly like that, and love the rhyming at the beginning and end of the stanza.

"Engraving reality without being an illusionist " was a fantastic line, and as I've already said I got a mental image from that, so I know that it was truly very good.

"My lungs no longer breathe a melancholic lyric
For it has inhaled a mere dominating dosage
Not poisonous or neurotic visages of anything
But just a single drop of virtuous significance

~Claiming to be a muse is an understatement~

Because…I love you beyond any fancy verses"

Wow, just wow. Very good. The "single drop of virtuous significance" is powerful, and so it the end of the poem with the drop into prose.

I can see why this one if a favourite of yours.



Alright, now I guess I'll comment (very) briefly on the whole.

I like your writing style, though sometimes I don't think you use words as well as you might be able to (too lazy to look right now) and there are definitely lines here and there that could be improved. You write about love a lot! Have you written much about anything else? It could be interesting to see one with a different topic. As I've mentioned many times, I like the way you subtly rhyme things, and just your poems on the whole. Don't take any criticism too badly, I'm a pain like that :P
I look forward to reading more whenever you get around to writing more!