Yeah, so I did a emo/hippy -ish type of passage. Read if you wish. It actually has a place for a story I'm conjuring A story is dull without drama, right?

Sweep forth of this land is all but peace. Utter chaotic destruction remains captive of this world. Filled with rampaging wars, be it over politics or the aggression of religious virtues, this world has seen a thousand scars of bloody impacts from the cries of tortured lives. The wars held long on Earth will only find destruction of those bounded. This world is being torn in too many directional paths. All these actions made cannot ensure positive stability, but of an era of lost tranquility. Of the day when the harsh result of these actions comes, all in it path shall endeavor the wrath of its storm. A storm asked for by the uncured and confused hearts of this realm. The day awaits the weeping eye.

Wow thats real good that. Nice writing.

Originally Posted by Philbro Wow thats real good that. Nice writing.

Thank you it is suppose to have a deep feel to it, as the story brings the "day" mentioned :O.

I just updated the last part and where it mentions religion.

That last part really added more power to it. Im gunna remember this for a long time

Y'know, I do like it, but there's definitely a point to which complicated words should be used, and ( not meaning any offense ) I think you're over it. I once attended a public speech lecture where the woman told us never to use a word like "ubiquitous" when "everywhere" will do. Your piece will lose a lot of its effect if the reader has to stumble over words; smaller ones allow for a pause in the reading of a piece so someone can comprehend it.

Originally Posted by eXo Y'know, I do like it, but there's definitely a point to which complicated words should be used, and ( not meaning any offense ) I think you're over it. I once attended a public speech lecture where the woman told us never to use a word like "ubiquitous" when "everywhere" will do. Your piece will lose a lot of its effect if the reader has to stumble over words; smaller ones allow for a pause in the reading of a piece so someone can comprehend it.

Yes and no. I didn't go over it, as it all seems to flow for those that actually read this type of stuff :P I was close, but I made sure that there were supporting sentences to enhance and confirm previous.

Thanks for the feedback